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I feel so awful, like how I could I actually let myself put on so much weight. I always think it’ll stop after X event but it hasn’t and now I just don’t want to go out and want to be on my own for weeks so I can control what I eat and how much exercise I do :( which is bullshit because at the same time I want a social life, and that always seems to get in the way of eating properly. Maybe my willpower is just shit now.